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Seven quick steps to deal with conflict

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Seven quick steps to deal with conflict

Most of us dislike conflict, and run from confrontation as fast as we can.

And in one sense we should. My spiritual father, Duane Harder, used to say that anyone who loves confrontation is a dangerous person. And yet in all my life I never met anyone who handled conflict and confrontation better than he did.

He did it by modelling the ideal: someone who is fearless in confrontation without actually enjoying it.

It is so critical that we learn to deal with conflict rightly. If we can come without fear when we sit down at the table, then we can come in principle and not in emotion.

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Run to win

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Run to win

I have been running a lot. Only on treadmills, I admit, as I’m not dedicated enough to knock myself out running and freezing at the same time.

The truth is most of us spend a lot more of our lives running than we think. We are usually found either running away from something or running toward something.

We usually make mistakes at both ends.

Instead of running away from our fears or difficult situations, we should stay and face them. The only way to conquer fear is to look it straight in the face and ask God to show himself as the one whose perfect love casts all fear out. It is not easy, it is a process, and we desperately need God’s help and the help of others, but in the end it’s always worth it. Sometimes I think my whole life has been a process of overcoming different kinds of fear.

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Facing the assault

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Facing the assault

I admit it. I was wrong.

I really had thought spending the winter in south-western Michigan would mean escape from 35 years of relentless snow. Until well into February, I was right. The total snowfall had been negligible. And so when the forecast called for six to eight inches and everyone started to panic, I called it Michigan snowmageddon and mocked the locals who were rushing to the supermarket to clear the aisles of bread and milk and cancelling every event in sight. Even without a snowblower, my superior level of fitness and a trusty shovel would be enough to face any challenge a feeble American winter could throw at a battle-hardened Canadian.

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Every square inch

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Every square inch

This afternoon found me in a series of massive barns praying over chickens. Let no one say a pastor’s job is boring.

And yes, I am serious. My friend Mat raises chickens. A lot of them. In fact, he has eight barns with forty thousand chickens in each barn. They run free and look quite content.

The problem was this. A mysterious bacteria had invaded the barns. In spite of every possible precaution being taken and the vet pronouncing the barns to be in outstanding shape, chickens were dying. And antibiotics are not an option for this business.

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Potholes on the road to affirmation

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Potholes on the road to affirmation

They clear the roads to a pretty high standard in southwestern Michigan, which is just as well as it means you can see the devastating potholes the recent polar vortex left behind.

There are a lot of potholes on the road to affirmation. We spend a great deal of time worrying about what others think of us. Most of us want to be well-liked. Nobody likes to be on the outside of the “in” circle. This pushes us to do all sorts of things we don’t want to do in the desperate search for approval. People become depressed and even resort to self-harm when they feel nobody likes them. We tailor our conduct and even our appearance to make ourselves more acceptable to those around us. Our lives become hostage to our perception of what someone else’s opinion may or may not be.